Red Suspenders
The old joke asks, “Why does a fireman wear red
suspenders?” and the answer is “To hold up his pants.” The secret reason is “to
meet women.”
I didn’t realize this until my waistline hit 40 and
I couldn’t hold up my pants with a belt. I had several colors and styles to
choose from: black, tan, something that looked like a distorted American flag,
and red. I bought several pairs. It turned out that there was a special power
in red suspenders.
Just as a peacock displays a gorgeous tail to
attract the peahens, red suspender are a magnet for women. They say that
blondes have more fun, but men with red suspenders trump that.
To add special allure to the suspenders, wear one
with an “accidental” twist. Women who grew up dressing their dolls
graduate to dressing their guys. What man hasn’t heard his wife say, “You
aren’t going to wear that, are you?” So when a woman sees that your suspenders
have a little careless twist in them, she can’t resist fixing it.
It’s astonishing how strange women will be unable to
resist adjusting my red suspenders. This doesn’t happen with any other color.
So, guys, want to meet women? Get yourself a pair of
bright red suspenders. They will change your life.
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