1066 words
The
Job Interview
Good morning.
I have your application for employment with the agency and I’ve read your essay
with great interest. I understand that you are keen to serve our country’s
intelligence service. Your minor in interpersonal relations and your foreign
languages skills are a plus. I also see that you are aware that 95 percent of
this work is rather dull research, not unlike what you experienced in graduate
school. One difference, of course, is that for us as a field agent you will
deal with primary sources. But there is a caution, which you must be made aware
of before we go any further with your application.
I’m sure you
are familiar with the James Bond movies. Double-O-Seven is his code number and
he always identifies himself as “Bond, James Bond.” In this business you will
never reveal your real name. You don’t know mine, and your application has only
a number identifier keyed to the date. We do not number our agents, for if
there is a Double-O-Seven there must be an O-Six and so on.
Ours is the
name that is never spoken. You are never to mention the name of this agency. If
in Washington
should you meet people socially, the most you can say is you work for some
government agency, but not us. In fact, for all you know, we might be some other
agency than the one you think you applied for. But I assure you that I do
represent a United
States agency, and
not the Mossad or the Venezuelan Embassy. Granted, in this business you can
never be a hundred percent sure of anyone or anything.
James Bond
carries all sorts of weapons and is provided with a fancy car and various
gadgets. You will never be armed. No Beretta, no tear gas fountain pen, or any
of that gadgetry. Your only tools will be your camera and your pencil. Unlike
those folks in the World War II resistance, you’ll not be trained to use a
secret radio transmitter. You will be
trained in tradecraft and possibly the use of certain ciphers.
In the movies James Bond kills dozens of bad
guys. Did you notice that they are killed, but never get hurt? And Bond is
never arrested for involuntary manslaughter, not put on trial, doesn’t go to
jail, and is not executed. Nor does he attend the funerals of his victims or
meet his victims’ families. James Bond is a comic book super hero. If you have
fantasies about being a super hero, forget it. This job is not for you. It is
best that you are invisible.
We will
provide you with a cover story. It will be something innocuous, but plausible.
For instance, until her cover was blown by Mr. Cheney, Valerie Plame ostensibly
worked out of a Washington
law office. Her outing cost seven of our agents their lives.
Your pay with be two tiered, your public pay,
and the real salary. For instance, if your cover is to be a homeless person who
sells Street Roots, you will live the life of a homeless person and spend only what
you gain by begging and selling the newspaper. The rest of your pay will be
held by us in escrow until such time as you leave the agency, retire, or die,
as the case may be.
Partly
because of current budget concerns, we can only offer you a position as a
contract agent. That means you are a private contractor and not an official
employee of this agency. We do that for several reasons. You will be subject to
the self-employment Social Security tax. Therefore, you do not qualify for any
benefits such as vacation pay, health insurance, unemployment, disability, or
the pension plan.
If you spend
lavishly, far beyond the means of, for instance, your cover as homeless person,
you will be suspected of being a drug dealer or of doing something else
illegal. To avoid that temptation, we withhold a portion of your pay in case
you mess up or decide to go over to the opposition. In that case, your savings
with us are forfeited. The longer you work for the agency, the more you risk
losing should you mess up.
You will be
required to sign the Official Secrets Act and all your activity will be
classified. No one, not even your spouse or partner, not your mother or your
father, is to know what you really do or what your real job is. It is a double
life, not so very different from the life of a man who has a mistress or is a
criminal. In fact, you must be aware that when you are working outside this
country espionage is a crime. You are a criminal. If you are caught, like Gary
Powers when his U2 plane was shot down over Russia,
we will deny we know anything about you. Since you are not an official employee
of the agency, we do not know you. You will be hung out to dry. If convicted
and imprisoned, as Powers was, you may get lucky and be traded for one of their
spies that we have caught. Under the Geneva Convention, if you are a soldier in
uniform and captured you need only reveal your name, rank, and serial number.
If you are not in uniform and are a spy you may simply be shot.
There’s an
international trade meeting coming up. Should you be hired, we may ask you to attend
as your first assignment. We may point out certain delegates we would like you
to cultivate. Be friendly. Listen to their problems and their stories. If you
are successful, they will soon think you are their best friend. You will report
everything to us. You will never know what we do with your reports. You will
not know what action we take as a result of your activity. It is possible that,
because of their contact with you, a foreigner, they may be in jeopardy. They
have their own security people at work and if they suspect that your target has
betrayed their country, he or she may be arrested, imprisoned, tortured, or
killed. You, by betraying their confidence, will have betrayed them to us. Can
you, for the sake of our country, betray people?
Now do you still want this job?
